Rebecca
by Rhaegal Nymeria Stark
Summary: Revy calls herself a new name and hides her old one. Her identity as Rebecca means nothing now. And no, the irony is not lost on her that Rock always calls her "Revy" and Balalaika calls her Rebecca when they're alone. It isn't lost on her even a little. BalalaikaxRevy. One sided, twisted RockxRevy.


Disclaimer: Own nothing except this story.

Warnings for mentions of past rape and violence and child abuse.

**Rebecca**

"Revy." That was the name she called herself nowadays. Had been for more than seven years now. She had decided to detach herself from the name of that weak, helpless runt from New York City who the cops and her own dad didn't give a shit about. The same worthless little bitch that an officer of the law had raped in prison. Revy called herself that because she knew that part of herself had to die if she wanted to survive.

Rebecca had been a weak, scared little girl who would have willingly taken a beating just so she didn't have to live for a moment on the streets. Rebecca had been weak. She swore she would never be Rebecca again. When she had sworn to that, she had gotten her tattoo and had started calling herself Revy. She swore she would never let anyone have power over her again.

Her new name "Revy" was her way of making sure that that never happened again.

But there were those here in Roanapur who still knew that her birth name was Rebecca. Yolanda, that bitch, Eda, the nuns of the Church of Violence. They knew. Chang? He knew. Dutch and Benny both knew, but knew better than to ever call her anything but Revy. Rock knew her birth name in passing.

But much to Revy's appreciation, he had never called her "Rebecca."

He was the most normal guy in Roanapur, maybe even in the world. At one time she had latched onto him because he reminded her of a normal life. That was before she had come to a terrible, but almost hilarious realization. Hilarious because of the inescapable irony of it all.

She had never really thought about that, at the time, until noticing an odd pattern whenever she had been with Balalaika. At first, it had been as casual and rough as could be. But as time went by, Balalaika had increasingly started calling her Rebecca. Not Revy. Not Two-Hands. Rebecca.

Why? It was odd. If anyone would understand a change in the name, Revy was sure that it would be Balalaika. Balalaika wasn't the Russian woman's original name. Revy wasn't sure why Balalaika would keep using "Rebecca" to name her lover. But she had. Revy, Rock, Balalaika, all three of them had different names from the ones they were given when they were born. But only Balalaika called Revy by her birth name. And Revy knew with complete assuredness that it was intentional. Their most recent time together had left it without debate that Balalaika was calling her lover her birth name very intentionally when Revy had her lips over the scarred flesh of Balalaika's neck, and had sucked and bit and Balalaika had groaned "Rebecca" out. Revy had stopped her actions and had glanced at her lover.

Balalaika had stared right into her eyes with a burning blue stare. A challenging stare. Revy had been unnerved by what Balalaika might have meant by calling her by her birth name, so had just continued her actions, kissing and sucking along the scarred woman's throat, forgetting the incident for that night. She had assumed it was a power play. Like things usually were with Balalaika. She had just gone on with their fucking since she didn't want Balalaika to have the damn satisfaction of seeing her getting worked up. But hearing Balalaika calling her that name, stirred something in Revy. She didn't recognize what the other thing was but she sure recognized the first emotion Balalaika's title of Revy caused. Fear. Fucking fear. It had infuriated Revy at the time that Balalaika using her birth name had caused her to think of her childhood and humanity. But it had.

Balalaika never said Revy's birth name in front of anyone else. In front of Rock, in front of Dutch and Benny, in front of her men or in front of anyone else. But every time, whenever they were alone together, whether in bed, fucking in Balalaika's study or in the shower or talking privately at dinner, or just talking privately in Revy's room or Balalaika's study, Revy was always called "Rebecca" by the Russian mafia woman.

Then another big surprise happened after one of Revy and Balalaika's little "sessions." After the two of them lay satiated next to each other, Revy feeling the pull of sleep becoming inevitable, she heard Balalaika say something that she heavily debated whether or not she actually heard. Balalaika's whisper had been, "Before I was Balalaika, Rebecca, I was Sofiya."

Revy still now debated whether or not she had actually heard that confession. Why would Balalaika trust her with that information? Why would she give her the privilege of knowing?

Amongst her comrades and her insubordinates, Balalaika showed no signs of humanity. She was the perfect war machine. Calculating, strategic, ruthless and cold. But behind closed doors? When she and Revy were alone together? True, Balalaika never was heavy on the emotions, had never given any passionate exclamations of love, and Revy hadn't expected that either. If she had received it, she would have assumed she had gone even more insane than she already was and hallucinating it. But with her? With Revy, Balalaika acted _differently. _Her eyes almost softened from that sharp, merciless blue to an almost tender shade around her lover. That mouth that always was either in a straight line or in a sadistic smirk, edged into a real smile at times. Those hands that remained at her sides, poised to strike the moment one person even provided an excuse for her to exorcise discipline, while rough in bed, tended to turn soft in the aftermath of their primal lovemaking. Those same hands touched her afterwards with gentility, a tenderness that almost scared the fucking shit out of Revy.

Contrary to Balalaika, Rock was the opposite. The total opposite.

His entire body language and attire screamed "normal." And privately? When he and Revy were alone? He was as passionate as the piece of shitty nature that he had been named after. He was as passionate as an actual fucking rock.

At one time, when Chang and his men had been at the Lagoon Company's place, Revy had been tempted to make some cold, dead fish comments when she had seen how robotic and cold Rock had become over time, but had stopped herself when she had seen how Rock looked at Chang's men with what she realized now was greed.

The way he had looked hungrily at Chang's power scared her. She would kill herself before she admitted that. But when she saw Rock covet power, he scared her.

Contrary to Balalaika, Rock NEVER called her "Rebecca." Not in the world of Roanapur, not in Japan, not even when they were alone. She was always "Revy" to him.

Not Rebecca ever. Just Revy. And at the beginning, that had been preferable. That had been fine. A sign of respect in her eyes even. The irritatingly normal guy bugged her, but she came to appreciate him. But over time, he changed. Just like everyone who entered this crap sack shithole of a city. In time, the city had swallowed up the man that he was before when he first came to Roanapur as a timid businessman and instead was an unfeeling, calculating weapon, ready to arrange murders for his benefit.

Revy, much to her unease, realized she saw a resemblance between Rock and Balalaika. This realization was made in Japan. When he and Balalaika had emerged from the house, the entrance of the house surrounded by Japanese police, armed with shields and Rock had run out to meet her on her motorcycle and they had gone off together. Revy hadn't feared for Balalaika. She was surrounded by government officials. They couldn't do anything without some kind of fucking warrant. Besides, who among them would be fucking insane enough to mess with her?

Revy learned from Rock that the Kosou clan were all dead. He hadn't needed to say anything more than that.

Because Revy? She knew. She had known. Rock had gotten them killed. Maybe he hadn't done it himself. But he had killed the Kosou clan. He had murdered them by using Balalaika to do it. Revy might not have been even close to as cunning as Balalaika herself, but she wasn't a fucking complete moron. She remembered Rock's claims to the Russian woman that it would make more sense to wipe out the Kosou clan back at the garage. Rock had wanted the Kosou clan dead. So he had found a way of making it happen.

For the first time, Rock had scared Revy.

When they had come back from Japan, Revy's leg and arms feeling like they were fucking going to fall the fuck off at any second, bandaged up and in hella a lot of pain, that was when Chang and his men had arrived and she had seen one more warning sign from Rock.

Balalaika and Rock. Rock and Balalaika. Nowadays, the two of them seemed interchangeable. Like they were almost the same person. Both cunning and strategic. Cold and ruthless.

But when they were alone with her? That was where Revy saw the difference, even if no one else did.

And who said that Revy Two Hands didn't understand, even appreciate inescapable irony?

When Revy had another chance to see Rock and Balalaika in the same area, as she and Dutch discussed business by the docks, she could feel Balalaika's eyes on her when Dutch turned away and walked back to the ship. Balalaika's eyes burned Revy and she didn't move, feeling like a mouse being watched and ready to be preyed on by a falcon perched on a tree's branch.

Rock was next to her, and he showed nothing but a calm, and composed appearance and his body language was composed. Revy hadn't looked too deeply into it.

After the transaction had been made, it was time for the two different groups to go their different ways. Revy had begun to walk after Dutch and Benny, Rock alongside her, and she could still feel the eyes burning into her back. Revy knew what the matter was with Balalaika. The bitch kept insisting that Revy come to her and stay with her at her and her closest soldiers at their home. It was an offer that held both promise of power, _and _the danger of commitment. Of being caged. Owned somehow.

When she and Rock had crossed the threshold into their house, Rock had turned to face her. Smirking. She had almost shivered when she had seen his eyes. His dark brown eyes were gleaming with what she knew were plans. He said to her as he looked at Dutch and Benny, "Revy, we should contact Garcia. He said he wanted us to check on Roberta and Fabiola."

Revy's stomach turned against her will. She didn't need to know more about what Rock wanted to know what he was thinking. Roberta. Garcia. He wanted to use them. Revy didn't know how, but he did. Hey, she didn't like the fuckers at all. They were self-important snobs with sticks permanently up their asses. And had a totally different world view from everyone else in the world. But she knew that whatever Rock wanted from those two stupid kids, Garcia and Fabiola and that fucking madwoman, Roberta, it couldn't be good.

It was then that Revy understood the key difference between Rock and Balalaika. Rock never called her Rebecca. Never. He always called her Revy. Always Revy. But Balalaika called her Rebecca. Whenever they were alone together? Balalaika always called her Rebecca. Only Rebecca. She only became "Revy" when they were out in public and being watched.

Revy had sworn no one would make her "Rebecca" again. No one. But when Balalaika called her that, she realized now that it was more than just a power play. Power probably had something to do with it, like it always did, but that wasn't all, was it? Balalaika wasn't just calling Revy by her birth name, wasn't just calling her by the name of a beaten street rat. When Balalaika called Revy Rebecca, she was seeing her as _human._

There was the difference. In Balalaika's eyes, Revy was human. Not just a weapon, not just a means to an end. She was also a human.

In Rock's eyes, she was a weapon. A hot piece of ass weapon, sure. But she was a weapon.

He needed her. So he could have his way.

Rock was born a privileged child of a well off Japanese couple. And when he felt like he didn't get the appreciation he believed he deserved, when he experienced pain ONE time, when his employers had left him, he had sided with a band of murderers and thieves and gave up any honor, if he had any in the first place.

Balalaika was born into a family who had taught her from day one that her life was not her choice. That she had to fight for honor and her country. She had been thrown into war and had been war scarred, traumatized and turned into a war machine, incapable of allowing even a piece of mercy for her enemies. Despite that? She still had honor.

In the eyes of this privileged man who had been fucked over only one time and so became a criminal, she was a weapon.

In the eyes of the most dangerous woman in all of Roanapur, maybe the world even, a woman who had been forged and scarred in war, Revy wasn't JUST a weapon. She was human.

It was only then that Revy recognized Balalaika's warnings in the garage at Japan for what they had been. _Don't ever hope to have a life like his._

That warning had been about possession, Revy was sure of that. But she now realized it had been about something else too. She really had to wonder if Balalaika had been trying to _protect _her from Rock.

Yes, Revy could appreciate inescapable irony when she could see it. And she could see it very plainly right now.

Revy was overwhelmed by her discovery. Almost against her will, she hissed at Rock, "Holy fucking shit." When Rock looked at her, surprised and confused, she walked past him, shoving him away and going down the stairs of the house back out onto the docks.

Revy couldn't believe how her heart jumped when she saw that Balalaika's car was still there, her men getting inside.

Revy almost jumped down some of the stairs to the ground and ran to the car. The passenger car door opened up. She heard Rock's voice yell after her. There was no surprise for her that he yelled "Revy" after her.

She almost crashed into the car, but stopped just as she reached it.

She saw Boris peering out at her, his big, scarred face never changing his grimace. She heard that low, sultry voice tell Boris to get out and go to the front of the car. Her heartbeat went faster when she heard that. Boris stepped out, his height towering over Revy temporarily. Revy couldn't tell what Balalaika's men thought of her. At the most, they would nod to her. The friendlier ones would drink with her and laugh.

Boris, from his limited time around her, showed little emotion, if any. He was gruff, but never impolite. Revy had made a few Boris Karloff jokes to him. He was a huge guy, face square-like, had a scar and was named Boris. It was just too fucking perfect. Weirdly, Boris just looked like Revy's amusement exhausted him instead of offended him. Balalaika was even somewhat amused occasionally by the reference.

And no, Revy had not missed the fond look in Balalaika's eyes whenever Revy did something that might be dorky like that. Something she knew Rock would sigh tiredly at and never comment on.

Boris went around Revy and the hood of the car to the passenger side of the car, opening up the car and getting in, slamming the door shut. This left Revy alone with Balalaika in the backseat, looking up at her and smiling.

"Yes, Revy?" Balalaika said, startling Revy. "What is it?"

Revy looked over her shoulder, seeing Rock staring at her from the porch, not understanding any of this. He was still within earshot. And Revy made a decision, knowing now was the time to make that decision. She sighed, knowing that when she made this choice, she couldn't back away from it ever.

Knowing what her choice was, knowing there would be no way back from it, she walked around the opened car door, and ducked down inside the car, sitting down on the seat next to Balalaika, looking into those dangerous blue eyes challengingly, shutting the car door behind her.

Balalaika responded the way that Revy had both hoped and feared she would.

She had grinned, and had turned to her driver, ordering him to drive back to their base.

As the driver hit the gas, not seeming at all fucking surprised that Revy fucking Two Hands of all people was joining them, Revy took another risk and scooted closer to Balalaika, resting her head against the Russian woman's left shoulder. Instead of a warning or a mocking sentence like Revy had half been expecting, Balalaika leaned closer and whispered against her hair, her breath warm, even though she made Revy shiver, "You had better be sure of this, Rebecca. Because you are mine now. And I won't let you go."

Instead of feeling the fear she should have felt, as she could practically hear a cage door close with Balalaika's promise, Revy-Rebecca squeezed herself tighter to Balalaika, bringing a chuckle from the older woman and felt a soft kiss press against her forehead and the younger released a breath, closing her eyes. Despite the bizarre circumstances, her being with the most dangerous woman in all of Roanapur, who loved starting and even more finishing wars, and having just left the most normal seeming man in Roanapur, Rock behind, Revy for the first time in a long time, felt safe.

Rock, the most normal man in all of Roanapur saw her as a weapon. He had never been able to not see her as a weapon, even if he was attracted to her.

But with Balalaika? A well-oiled murderous machine that knew over a billion ways of ending a war, all of them bloody and ruthless? She was Rebecca. She was human.

**So probably out of character, but still, had this idea in my head for a while, so I wanted to get it out. Notice in the series, Rock never even once calls Revy "Rebecca." Maybe that's a sign of respect, but I couldn't let this idea go.**


End file.
